This is, or will be once it is fully outfitted, the Center for Childhood Cancer. It is real. It is concrete. It is at 1100 Olive – right across from the Honda dealership downtown (RIP my little ’85 Prelude). They recently painted the outside of this facility, announcing it as part of Seattle Children’s Research Institute. If it were up to me, I personally would not have selected the brownish grey color – after all I am a winter and look best in jewel tones – but rather I would have chosen bright orange or yellow, as if to say “WARNING: CANCER WILL DIE HERE”.

This building has been dedicated solely to pediatric cancer research. Yes, you read that right. THIS building has been dedicated SOLELY to pediatric cancer research. And the sight of it literally makes my heart rate go up. It is being outfitted as I type this into cutting edge laboratories. Jeff and I had the chance to tour the facility with Dr. Jensen last month – to essentially see the “before” and then this spring will be the “after”. Dr. Jensen is recruiting and will be leading a team of pediatric cancer researchers. Here. In this building. In this city. The research that comes from this address is going to change the way children are treated and cured from cancer.

And it doesn’t get more concrete than delivering a check today for $525,000. This is our first contribution to the Center for Childhood Cancer and we look forward to more disbursements in the future. 

Thank you to everyone who has so compassionately and generously given to this vision and the work that is about to be done.  Stay tuned for information in the new year as to when you can see this amazing space for yourself! Hopefully by then Nate Berkus will have been consulted regarding the color palette. 

With Gratitude,
Carin and Jeff 

Check out our Launch Celebration Hightlight Video…

http://www.bentownefoundation.org/launch-celebration/

Thank you again to everyone who attended – it was a fantastic night!

Ryan started preschool last week. This is a first for us, having a child go to school. Ben went to Sunday school, though under two that is really just an opportunity to eat a lot of Ritz crackers. I am having mixed feelings about this. As with everything in our life, it is complicated now. On one hand I am proud of Ryan and so grateful that he is alive and able to attend any form of school. But on the other, Ben should have been starting kindergarten. Ryan’s backpack holds his lunch and a change of clothes. Ben’s backpack held a medical bag and a small machine which pumped formula through a tube into his nose. We are beginning a series of “firsts” with our second born child. It shouldn’t be this way.

We have been fielding beginning of the year questions like, “Is this your first child in school?”, “Is Ryan your oldest?” and “Do you have other kids?” All simple, common, get to know you questions – but extremely awkward as I have mentioned here before. As I sat with him during the drop off time the other morning, a little boy was playing with Cars. Ryan joined in and the other mom being friendly asked, “Do you guys watch the Cars movie at your house?” I paused, stunned – as I have yet to be asked that question. How do I answer that? Do we watch the Cars movie? I momentarily left my body and went to the world I used to know…

We watched Cars with Ben at least a thousand times (no I am not exaggerating) – multiple times a day, on loop, in the middle of the night. We viewed that movie so often we burned through one of our copies (yes that is possible). Ben has 96 individual cast iron Cars, each given to him in love. Everyone in our family was assigned a “favorite”.  Jeff’s was Sally, mine Guido, Aunt Kristen – Mater, Grandpa – Doc Hudson, Gramps – the Tractor, Gram – Luigi, Grandma – Lizzy, etc. He would choose which Cars came with us to the hospital and which ones would sleep with him every night. “Life is a Highway” was his favorite song, we read Lightning McQueen books every night to go to sleep, he would only wear McQueen pajamas, he slept under a McQueen blanket, and on and on and on. Cars was not just a movie – it was part of our life with him. They were his friends, his companions, his comfort, his cheerleaders. Radiator Springs was Ben’s world. And he was ours.

I returned after a moment to my new reality, and carefully responded to this kind stranger, “Yes….we have.” We just hadn’t in about twenty two months. And with that I dropped my second son off at school and cried all the way home.  For firsts. For nevers. For celebration. And for unbearable loss.  

Later that night Ryan asked to watch “that car race movie”. And so we did. A first – for the three of us.

I have always been good at expressing myself. Perhaps it’s because I listened to Madonna incessantly in junior high, or maybe because I studied theatre in both undergrad and graduate school. Either way I find myself today in foreign territory – as I am at a loss as to how to fully capture what Friday night felt like for us. It was an amazing, overwhelming and surreal experience.

Music. Friends. Laughter.

I swayed between disbelief that anyone besides my parents would actually show up and utter joy that so many fantastic lovely people came out to support, dream and celebrate with us. As I looked across the room I tried to take it all in. Almost six hundred people. Wonderful, compassionate and beautiful people. (Apparently we are going to be the charity for the good looking – as you all looked incredible!) The atmosphere was electric, exciting and fun. Glasses cheered, hugs were given, reunions were had.

Purpose. Mission. Movement.

I vacillated in a crazy way between wondering what I was doing there and where Ben was – to a complete, strong and clear picture of where we are going and what we are going to do. It is this kind of mania and certainty that is allowing us to move forward with no fear. My favorite quote of the night was Dr. Jensen joking that he had asked for two and a half hours and we gave him ten minutes. He was warm, engaging, funny and of course brilliant.

Love. Change. Hope.

Thank you to everyone who came, especially those of you who traveled great distances – your presence meant the world to us. Our deepest appreciation to those of you who were able to give. And for those of you who are going to help us tell this story – the story of what is starting here in Seattle. That there is hope. That we are going to change the way childhood cancers are treated and cured.

Amazed. Generous. Grateful.

And since you are probably wondering, we crossed the five hundred thousand dollar mark! To be exact, $504,326.11 was given the night of September 10, 2010, with additional gifts promised. We are absolutely blown away! Thank you, thank you, thank you. It is with that INCREDIBLE level of generosity and our commitment to be good stewards that Ben Towne Foundation is officially launched!

Stay tuned for a highlight video…

Our official Launch Celebration is Friday!  *takes deep breath*

We are feeling nervous, anticipatory and excited for what looks to be a fabulous night! For those of you who are registered to attend, you will get the chance to hear from Dr. Michael Jensen, the director of the new Center for Childhood Cancer here in Seattle. He arrived here in July from City of Hope in Los Angeles. Jeff and I have had the opportunity to hear about his research many times and on each occasion we continue to be more and more excited about what is happening  – both in this city and in the future of curing childhood cancers. Dr. Jensen is as personable as he is smart – which is a rare combination. It will be our pleasure to welcome him to Seattle and to support his groundbreaking work.

Take a look for yourselves…

http://www.seattlechildrens.org/about/stories/new-hope-for-pediatric-cancer-treatment/

We look forward to seeing you there!